Ice for Heart (Chapter 4a)

Ezinne and Titi came back to her home at 12 minutes past the hour of 4. Titi had first taken her to a spa to get them a massage before going to a salon to get their hair and nails done and the woman paid for everything without asking her if she had any money or not. After their little time together, Ezinne had loosened up and in place of the angry, dejected woman was a woman hanging on to every bit of life she could get. She felt like she was just born, there were people outside her sphere who were alive and living. She saw life beyond her imagination; these were people who were not living to please anyone but themselves and getting fulfillment from what they did. If only she could get something to do, or someone to connect her at least she would make some money and probably earn some respect from her husband.

Titi was telling her of a hollywood movie she had watched with her husband the night before titled ‘Beastly’ she told her the story as they climbed the stairs. The excitement in her voice as she told the story of the young proud son of a rich man who crossed path with a witch that taught him the lesson of his life, mirrored the pain in Ezinne’s heart. All through their time together Titi made her laugh, cracked jokes to distract her from her fears and worries, assured her that from today henceforth there would be a miracle. Wasn’t that all she had prayed for? a miracle, some respite from her bondage, some help, some saving. Now here it was being promised and she was filled with doubts. She couldn’t help but smile to herself for her spirit reminded her of the Jewish believers who prayed for Peter’s release and when God answered they didn’t respond with an excitement measurable with their request. Maybe hers had to do with the fact of being in bondage for so long and getting so used to its form and shape that it was now difficult to adjust to a new way of life.

She opened her door, a part of her hating the loneliness she would face when Titi left. She was certain the woman wanted to return to her husband, as she didn’t think she had been a good enough company for her. Before turning the door knob she felt a cold fear course through her inside running at the speed of lightening from her chest to the pit of her belly, she paused, took a long and deep breadth before opening it.

She wasn’t surprised by what she saw, her husband was home with a glass of wine in his hand. Ordinarily it would have surprised her to see him home this early but then that fear that ran through her before she opened the door didn’t mean nothing. She understood now that it was her spirit sending her warning signals of the next blow to her body.

She greeted him with her eyes to the ground, he had caught her being happy and that was definitely a sin. She felt Titi’s hand on her back, well at least there was support standing behind.

Chukwuma accessed her, his eyes did a quick sweep of her body. Somehow her figure was still intact, he had missed that from all the wrappers, she looked like the woman he had married. Yet he would never get past the fact that she was responsible for the death of his mother and grandmother, both her and her child.

“So you are now among the women who warm the Pastor’s bed?” he replied her with a voiced laced with fury and disgust.

Titi felt like she had been slapped directly, and she wanted to spit her disgust on him but on a second thought she wondered what her husband would do if he was present in the face of this disparaging statement. She realized that her husband being a pastor would refrain from speaking in anger, not that he wasn’t human, but because his listeners would interpret everything he said or did in the wrong light. She thought of what Jesus would have done if he was insulted like this. She remembered two events in the Bible, the first being Jesus replying Pilate’s question and the second was Jesus speaking to those who said he cast out demons by Beelzebub. In both situations Jesus spoke so why wouldn’t she?

She counted five in her head before speaking “I beg your pardon sir?”

She saw Ezinne’s eyes begging her not to speak, like she was afraid that even speaking was a sin. She couldn’t believe it, now she understood exactly why this man was trampling on his wife. He cheated on her with other women and still had the guts to accuse her wrongly. The man thought he was god.

“I was talking to my wife!” he replied her without so much as a glance, his blazing eyes were fixed on Ezinne.

Titi gave a cynical laugh, “you are talking about my husband” she replied calmly fighting the anger.

“Oh I thought he belonged to God not man” he replied mockingly.

How she hated this position and title ‘Pastor’s wife’ the titled limited her. This was a man she would ordinarily have given a piece of her mind but she had to be ok with everyone, had to smile even when she wanted to claw out the eyes of some humans, had to bow to greet even people she knew hated her and hated her husband.

“I just want you to know sir, you have a beautiful vessel as a wife yet you are misusing this vessel. Remember if you pour poison into your cup, you will drink from that cup and it is only what you pour in that you can drink. The cup cannot purify what you poured in it” with that she was out and gone.

She raced down the stairs not wanting to look back else she returned to that house and messed up her husband’s ministry. Didn’t they say that a coward lived to fight another day? Today was not her day of battle, the man was sure to put himself in her mouth soon and that day she would not only bite but chew him too. No one puts his head in the mouth of the lion and expects to take it back.

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