Ice for hearts (Chapter 2b)

It was probably because the man was a pastor that he stayed faithful to his wife, otherwise why else would love her so much. Ok maybe she was being sentimental because her relationship with her own husband had gone sour, after all Samantha’s husband was good too. She headed into the house to get a stool, she was definitely going to enjoy this afternoon breeze before her detractor returns.

When she walked into the room, a past flashed in her eyes, she saw herself being slammed against the wall beside her box, the day she had packed her cloth and threaten to leave. Chukwuma assured her that day that if she dared it he was going to find her and make her life useless. He reminded her that she was his and he had paid her bride price in full. She heard his voice ring out in incautioned rage, the last only words that kept ringing in her mind that day was the name of Jesus. How she managed that day was beyond her, she was sure she would have died had it not been for His name on her lips.

Quickly she picked up a piece of paper and a pencil, if she couldn’t paint at lease she could draw. Then strolled to the kitchen to get the stool, unconsciously she massaged the back of her head where she had hit it against the wall and let the tears drop afresh. She chided herself for being so weak, she needed to strong for her daughter, no child deserved to grow up with so much violence. Chizaram was her own little princess and it didn’t matter whether her father saw her as a princess or not. She had to have a plan, she had no money otherwise leaving would have been easier, a day like this when he wasn’t home she would have taken off. She came out with the chair and dropped it on the floor before adjusting her wrapper.

“I should wear proper clothes, it is bad enough that I am being battered from outside. I shouldn’t be battered in my mind too” with that said to herself, she went in to take a shower. She came out of the bathroom with tears running down her cheek, the pain seemed to flow out to the surface as the water poured down her body. If only she could wash it off with her bath. She needed healing and she knew it but where was she going to get it? Definitely not here, her home would be the best choice, some where within her she knew that her father would still welcome her with open arms, of course he was disappointed in her but she was sure of his love. She walked up to the mirror, it seemed like ages since she took a good look at herself, Chukwuma made use of the mirror more often than she did. Her naked image stared back at her, a part of her felt ashamed as she stared back at herself. This was her in her unguarded moment. The weakling Chukwuma found joy in pomeling. It was no wonder he hated her, she was completely subdued, no light in her eyes, her hair was unkempt and she was very thin. Her usually rounded breast was flattened. She pitied herself, when did she degenerate into this? She merely existed not living exactly. She dabbed the tears and water off her face, moisturized her skin before putting on a little make-up. It didn’t matter what her husband thought of her, it was what she thought of herself that mattered. She angled her head, where had she heard or read that? She couldn’t quite place it, but she was sure it must have been during one of those marriage seminars she had attended back in school.

She walked with a new confidence as she returned to the veranda. She could see Chizaram, the girl had 2 boys playing with her now. Ezinne smiled sadly at the childish innocence, gone were the day she could laugh and smile easily like her world was perfect.

Adesanya’s mother looked up at her at that moment, smiled and waved to her, she responded to the woman’s greeting with a bow of her head, Pastor followed his wife greeting and greeted her too. What was that she saw in his eyes? She was sure it was compassion for her, more like pity. She was sure the entire compound knew that her husband had turned her to his punching bag but none of then had ever come to her rescue. A part of her loathed them, she hated them. It was true that it wasn’t their fault that her husband was destroying everything that she ever was but at the same time it wouldn’t kill them to help her without her asking. It was like Pastor had read her mind, he saw him talk to his wife and the next thing she saw them stand up and walk towards her apartment, she wasn’t sure they were coming to her flat until she heard the doorbell.

She groaned, not now, why didn’t they come all this while? Why did they had to come at the time she needed to some time to herself, some time to plan her non-existent future.

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